mountains

I realize this post may make me sound a little mentally unstable but for those of you that get it I know you’ll appreciate it and truth be told – I write this blog for nobody else but me.

For years while meditating and talking to myself (we all do it) – I’ve differentiated who was the I and the me by calling I – Lucia and Me – Luchie. Luchie is the wise one, my future self, my in the moment self. Luchie is the voice of truth and reason – my subconscious mind. Lucia is my conscious mind, she stresses about bills, boys and babies – I try to shut her down as often as possible.

Around a year ago I was lying on my matt meditating after a yoga class and I thought if the Mind is Lucia and the Soul is Luchie than who is the body and I realized I had to name it Lulu. So yes I am 3 units: body, mind and soul connected as one, each fighting to go off on their own but stuck with each other.

During yoga I listen to Lucia, Luchie and Lulu – sometimes asking all 3 of them separately if they are OK in certain poses. I ask Lucia if it really hurts or is she just being a brat, I ask Lulu if it’s good pain or bad pain and if she want me to stop and I ask Luchie if she can make it better and find more space for enjoying the pose. Sometime they all participate and we have a great time together – sometimes 1 overpowers everyone else – balance doesn’t come easy to them.

When meditating I always think of the expression “watching the watcher” and I always imagined Lucia looking down at Luchie allowing her to take over – until recently. In our lives, we are ruled by our conscious minds and I clearly put Lucia in charged, allowing her to decide when other parts of me can have some floor time. I’ve noted that this isn’t the message I want to be giving me, myself and I and I have been making some changes.

Now I imagine Luchie is in charge. She makes the decision, she is in charge of my mind, my mind (Lucia) isn’t in charge of her. Lucia always sat at the top of my head and I can’t figure out a comfortable spot to visualize Luchie but I know it’s closer to my heart – I’m still experimenting.

So why the name Lucia, Luchie & Lulu?
Lucia was the name I was given. (MIND – Conscious Mind)
Luchie is the name a handful of people call me but those that do always say it in such a loving and joyful way. (Soul – Unconscious Mind)
Lulu is always a name I preferred, it became part of my twitter handle @lulula and is the beginning of lululemon (yoga brand) and it just feels more connected to my body. (Body)

I hope Luchie finds a home to sit soon, I’m looking forward to seeing how this all plays out.