I realized something huge today. For the last week I had abandoned myself the same way a partner sometimes abandons a relationship when things get tough. While I was in yoga all I could ask myself over and over again was “Why did you abandon me?”
I wasn’t sure where this came from at first but as the class went on and I focused on my breath I found myself thinking about how bothered I get in relationships/friendships when the going gets tough and the other person abandons the situation leaving me to be the strong one. Now I had done that to myself and I realize that I do that to myself all the time.
It’s in that moment when I feel amazing, knowing I’m on the right path and nothing is going to get in my way – that’s the moment when I get in my way. I know I may not solve this mystery overnight but I do need to spend some time with myself to figure out why I abandon myself at times.
I’m a 3 steps forward 2 steps back kind of person – always getting ahead in the end but why can’t I just go with 3 steps forward… 3 more steps forward?
Lots to think about.